Lessons Learned

Drew and I have lived in our house for just over 2 weeks. It's amazing how many things you learn in 2 weeks. Here are a few of our lessons thus far.
1. Don't stick your head inside the gas fireplace while trying to figure out how to light it. This could potentially singe your eyebrows off and give your wife a heart attack. Clearly this was Drew's lesson.
2. Always remember to open the vent thingy to the fireplace when starting a fire. Failure to do so can result in a strange smell and the carbon monoxide detector beeping like crazy.
3. Number 3 involves a story. So, one night the week after we moved in, I decided to be a good wife and make dinner for my husband. He was actually not working until midnight that night, which is an event that should be celebrated. Did I mention that all of our appliances are gas? Well they are. I probably also should mention that I have never in my life cooked with a gas anything, however, I'm a book smart girl, so I'm confident that I can figure it out. So, I'm looking at the knob things on the stove and I turn it to low. Nothing happens. So I turn it to medium. Still nothing. So, naturally I turn it to the next option which is high. Still nothing. I'm about to call Drew and tell him that we got TOTALLY jipped and our oven is, like, sooo broken, but decide instead to turn the knob to every setting again. Low-medium-high-medium-low. What the heck - nothing. Then I notice the words "gas" with a little arrow. Hmmm...interesting. That arrow is pointing past high to "lite." I actually thought "lite" meant a "lite" flame even though I technically don't know what makes a "lite" flame. Well, that was the only word I hadn't tried, so I stick my face right next to the burner and flick with all my might to the "lite" position. And...WOOOOOOSH!!!! Flames went a flying. Lesson learned: don't stick your face next to the burner when lighting the stove. Another lesson learned: don't turn the switch back and forth to build up a lot of gas before lighting it. That could have been a major disaster. I may or may not have seen my life flash before my eyes at that point.
4. Cast iron skillets are heavy. Ridiculously heavy. And the handles get hot. Really hot. And when you are trying to de-glaze a pan, it is next to impossible to pick it up. And when you are trying to pour a sauce on a pork chop from said skillet - don't try to hold the handle with 3 dish towels. You will drop the skillet. On the pork chops. And they will get flattened. And you will have to scream "HELPHELPHELPHELPHELP!!!!!" at the top of your lungs. And your husband will come running in because he thinks you have chopped a finger off or something. And then he will help you, but not without laughing. And then he will wonder why you chose a pan that is so heavy you have to use 2 hands just to lift it out of the cabinet. And the response "because it's pretty" will be hilarious to him. Lesson learned.
5. Be dang sure you know how to operate all of the locks on your doors before going outside to build a snowman. If you are unsure of how they work, you could end up locking yourself out of the house. For over an hour. I guess that's one way to meet the neighbors.
5a. Dress cute at all times, even when it's 20 degrees outside and you are building a snowman in your backyard. I'm pretty sure our neighbors think I'm some sort of weird cross-dresser after seeing me in my snowman building/it's freaking freezing/my-husband's-man-gloves-and-hats-are-warmer-than-mine-so-don't -judge-me ensemble. Yikes. I'm going to have to dress extra good for the rest of my life to make up for that now.
6. That noise you hear is not someone trying to break it, it's the surround sound. Yes, it's scary.
7. The alarm system cannot hear you pleading with it to "stop beeping!" nor does it care that you have to run through the house when you mess up the code too many times on 1 box.
8. Wood floors must be cleaned on at least an every-other-day basis. It is ridiculous.
9. A "man room" for the hubs is excellent in a "that's where all his stuff can be so it's not all over the house" kind of way, but not so much in a "I don't want to watch the Bachelor so I'm going to watch ice hockey. In here. Without you." kind of way. Don't judge me - I never see my husband. Last night, I ended up watching ice hockey. At least it was Olympic ice hockey.
10. Neighborhood cats can scurry into the garage without you knowing it and get trapped in there. At least that's what I'm assuming is going on RIGHT NOW as I just heard a sick yet evil sounding meow coming from somewhere in that direction. Either that or it's somewhere in my house. What the freaking heck. I am now going to have nightmares about getting mauled by a cat who thought I trapped it in the garage. Cats hate me.