attack of the creepy, crawly creatures

lately i feel that creepy, crawly things have it out for me. why is this? did i kill one too many of their friends? did they get the memo that i despise their existence on this earth? what is the deal?

encounter #1
so, a few months ago i was at my parents' house (in the boonies). i open the door to my brother's old room and am thisclose to putting a big ol pile of bridesmaid gifts on the bed when what do i see? a gecko. a freaking gecko! inside the house and sitting on the pillow staring at me with his beaty little eye balls! o. m. g. i almost lost it. it took everything in my not to scream and wake my parents. so, i quickly left the room, shut the door, and piled my duffel bag, and some boxes in front of the door, so that just in case he tried to escape, he wouldn't find his way to me. take that gecko.
julie - 1, creepy crawly things - 0. suckas.

encounter #2
the wednesday before our wedding. i'm slightly stressed out and have spent the entire day running around the entire dfw and beyond area doing things including picking up all of the groomsman/usher/etc. tuxes, which each weigh approximately 20lbs. i am of the belief that if you live in an apartment that involves walking up stairs to get to - you must make as few trips as possible. no matter the cost. so, i load my arms down with at least 4 of the dang tuxes, which is 100lbs.... 100lbs on wire hangers carried by someone who hasn't worked out in quite a while. needless to say, i'm struggling. i get to the bottom of the stairs, and what do i see? another freaking gecko. this one is sitting on the railing looking at me with those beaty eyes. this time, i was not so calm. i may or may not have run (tuxes and all) in the opposite direction, then creeped up closer to the stupid thing and pleaded with it to move, then started crying when it wouldn't. don't judge me - it was wedding week. i was tired. and my arm muscles were burning from the tuxes i was *still* holding. after standing there for probably 5 minutes, i decided to be brave. i made a wall between myself an the gecko with the tuxes, played the rocky theme song in my head, and bolted for the stairs. it is a miracle i made it to the top without tripping. i flung open my door, and threw the tuxes to the ground and frantically began searching them, you know, in case the creature hopped onto one of the bags when i darted by. i then proceeded to do this about 5 more times. the gecko never moved. i was so sore the next day.
julie - 2, creepy crawly things - 0. booya.

encounter #3
on the last day of our amazing honeymoon, drew was playing water polo (don't ask), and i was laying in the pool catching up on a stack of fashion magazines. duh. suddenly i hear this loud rustling noise and look over to see the most giant. iguana. ever. i'm not even kidding. it could have won a world record for huge-ness. it's watching me. i'm watching it watch me. don't even think about it, iguana. i keep my eye on it for the rest of the morning until we go to lunch and of course tell drew about it (he doesn't believe that it was huge and scary and watching me). so, i'm walking back to our cabana from the bathroom and all of a sudden RIGHT in front of my foot i see this huge freaking iguana. again. it's so following me. the towel guy tells me to watch out, it will bite me. drew claims he was kidding, but i think otherwise. so, anyway, of course i'm completely freaked out. we leave the pool a bit later and go back to our room. drew doesn't feel well, so he lays down to take a nap. i decide to utilize the "swim-up" feature of our room (that we hadn't used the entire time we were there), and go sit in the lounge chair in the lazy river and continue my reading. i'm sitting there for a few minutes when something catches my eye. the. freaking. iguana. is about a foot away from me and staring at me. i scooted over one chair further away from it. it walked closer to me. i looked at our room door to carefully and swiftly plan my escape. between me & safety was a hammock that i could possibly hang myself on, a table that i could possibly trip over, and a step that i could possibly bang my shin on. i took a few deep breaths, and made a run for it. out of the pool - across the grass - with neighbors looking me like i was some sort of crazy - up on the patio, dodge the table, duck under the hammock, and SPLAT!!! completely slip and bust it - bang my rib cage on the table, wake drew from his nap. it. was. horrendous. i was so worried, though, about that stupid creature getting me that i got up as quickly as possible and swung open the room door and slammed it shut. drew's completely confused as to what i just did, and i'm trying not to cry while i'm telling him about it. then, i go to look at dumb creature who started this whole thing - and he's laying down in his original spot. drew says he wasn't trying to attack me. i say tell that to my bruised leg, booty, and rib cage.
julie - 2, creepy crawly things - 100. ouch.

moral of the story: things in the gecko/iguana family are retchid, retchid creatures.